Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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