There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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