Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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