She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
