We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize