Im at strip club and am horny
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
