His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
