all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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