That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
