brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
