hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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