i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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