just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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