After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
