why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
