it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
