Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
