This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
