you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
