I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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