When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
