You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
