Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
