There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
