Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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