im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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