I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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