Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
did i just pee glitter
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
