I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
