I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
