So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
