I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
