I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
