Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
