Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
