thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i now understand why vodka
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
