And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
