Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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