i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
