is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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