why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
