You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im holly from the hills drunk
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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