The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize