I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
birth control should be required to get into college
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
