Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
