Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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