What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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