There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize