No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
