Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
