Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
