it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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