if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
