If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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