dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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