but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
