do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
