ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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