Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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