your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
