some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
