I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
